


Push and Pull (But Mostly Push)

by crest3dwhiteningstrips



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Caretaking, Cussing, Eating Disorders, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Kinda, Lesbian AU, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, References to Depression, Texting, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, brian and brian please have mercy on me if you ever read this, katyas not in a good place and trixie helps her out, thats better - Freeform, thats it thats the whole fic, uhh, unhealthy eating habits, very little
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:27:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23329951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crest3dwhiteningstrips/pseuds/crest3dwhiteningstrips
Summary: Katya's gone AWOL for three months and Trixie is about to go mad worrying about her.She's dug herself into a deep hole, and Trixie's there to pull her out.(REPOST)
Relationships: Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova, Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 26
Kudos: 69





	1. Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhh I posted this on a different account like, a year ago and then took it down about six months after. After some persuasion from my lovely friend, I decided to rewrite a good chunk of it and post it again. 
> 
> And it's got some touchy subject matter but like, it really is just a soft fic abt Trixie taking care of Katya. It might get little kinky in later chapters, but I'll give you a heads up before that happens.
> 
> And, to clarify, THIS IS NOT ABOUT BRIAN/BRIAN. It's Trixie and Katya as fictional characters. If they ever find this, I'm gonna have to set myself on fire. So that's fine.

Three months.

That was how long Katya had been closed up in her house.

No Trixie. No Ginger. No Violet or Alaska. No one.

She didn't answer calls or emails. Every once in a while, she'd text a "k" in response to one of her friends, just so they could rest easy knowing that she was alive. She texted Trixie the most. She'd send texts to her best friend at obscene times of the night, sometimes little snippets of her day, sometimes just funny pictures she had found on the internet.

It reassured Trixie that Katya was at least functioning, but she was still worried out of her mind. She'd lock herself up in her apartment, with little to no contact with the real world. It wasn't the first time this had happened, but there wasn't much Trixie could do about it. She knew damn well that Katya couldn't be willed out of her apartment until she was ready to come out. 

Her friends wanted to knock down the door and drag her out. They wanted to chase her out of the house and throw her back into the real world, make sure she was actually living and not just sitting in her room for three months. Three months was too long.

Katya had to come out at some point.

Oct. 29, 6:02pm

Trixie:  
Have you left your room today?

Katya:  
Yes! I went out to buy another pack of cigarettes!

Trixie:  
I feel like that doesn't count

Katya:  
It kinda counts

Trixie:  
Bitch. Have you eaten?

Katya:  
Si

Trixie:  
What'd you eat

Katya:  
I found a half can of corn in my fridge

Trixie:  
Is

Trixie:  
Is that it

Katya:  
I had some coffee too

Trixie:  
It's six at night

Katya:  
Correct

Trixie:  
That's it ?

Katya:  
Yes

Trixie:  
You rotted cunt you are going to die

Katya:  
Thank god

Oct. 30, 3:45am

Katya:  
Happy halloweiner, you dumb slut

Oct. 30, 9:32am

Trixie:  
Halloween isn't until tomorrow bitch

Katya:  
Shit ur right

Nov. 1, 12:12pm

Trixie  
Missed call (2)

Nov. 5, 4:15pm

Trixie  
Missed call (2)

Nov. 8, 7:42am

Trixie  
Missed call

Nov. 14, 12:17pm

Trixie  
Missed call

Trixie:  
Are you alive 

Nov. 15, 4:24am

Katya:  
I know u want this hot, dry pussy

Nov. 18, 3:12pm

Trixie:  
Your mother doesn't love you

Katya:  
Don't tell me things I already know mama

Trixie:  
Do you wanna come over

Trixie:  
Have a movie night

Trixie:  
We can watch Rosemary's Baby AND Contact 

Katya:  
No

Trixie:  
Okay

Trixie:  
I'll have to eat this whole box of microwave popcorn by myself then

Nov. 19, 8:14pm

Trixie:  
Do you wanna help me bake pastries for Jinkx's dinner party

Trixie:  
You don't have to come if you don't want to but I figured you'd wanna play with the egg yolks while Im baking

Trixie:  
Which is fucking weird by the way but I'm not judging you

Katya:  
I miss you guys

Trixie:  
Then come out of your house you stinky bitch

Trixie:  
We miss you too

Trixie:  
I miss you

Trixie:  
Are you still alive or did you finally kill over mid-text ?

Katya:  
Come over

Trixie:  
What

Trixie:  
Seriously ?

Katya:  
Cancer serious

Trixie:  
Wait holy shit I'll be over in ten !! <3

Trixie shoved her phone into her pocket, ripping out of her baby pink duvet covers and flying out the door.

Three months. She hadn't seen Katya in three months.  
It was about fucking time.

She crammed her keys into her Mini Cooper before absolutely flooring it. Her little yellow car buzzed down the highway, with Trixie's mind racing.  
With such a long hiatus between the two, she had no clue what she's about to stumble upon.  
It couldn't get any worse than the time Katya tried to teach herself at-home taxidermy. Nothing could get worse than that.

It's not a far drive. Trixie whipped into the complex's parking lot, pulling in sloppily. She looked down as she climbed out of her comically small car, realizing she was wearing still her favorite pair of frumpy sweats and a flannel.  
She didn't care. She wanted to see Katya.

She sprinted up the stairs, skipping every other step. She ran through the hall and stopped at Katya's door. She's pants as she bangs on the door, putting her weight against the frame as she fought to catch her breath.

It takes a second, but Katya opened the door. Trixie doesn't even look at her, she swept her up into a bear hug, lifting her off her feet.

"I missed you so much!" She whispered into Katya's shoulder. Three months was too long.  
She can feel Katya's hands wrapped around Trixie's neck, hanging off like a little monkey. She lets her bare feet dangle in the air, Trixie's arms around her tiny midsection. 

"I missed you too, Trix." The smaller girl squeezed a little tighter. "So goddamn much." She buried her face into Trixie's soft blonde hair. Trixie swears she's purring as she walks the both of them into Katya's apartment, shutting the door behind the two of them and plopping down on the futon, re-positioning Katya to sit comfortably on Trixie's lap. 

It took a moment for Trixie to look around the apartment. The floor is scattered with papers like a tornado has ripped through, and the ashtray on the coffee table is filled to the brim with butts. There are at least six moldy cups of half-empty coffee on the table, and there's the strong aroma of cigarette smoke lingering in the air.  
Trixie looked down at the little Russian girl on her lap. There are heavy bags under her eyes, her face much more gaunt than it usually is. Her brunette roots peeked through her bleach blonde hair, with her natural curls pulled into a messy, greasy bun. She's in a stained hoodie and pajama pants, with her alarmingly prominent collar bones peeping through the top of her sweatshirt. This isn't the Katya she wanted to meet her at the door, but it's the Katya she got.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Trixie muttered, eyes still scanning her best friend, her mind still processing what was in sitting in front of her.

"What?"

Trixie scoffed, eyes still wide. "You look like you're going to die." She's deadpanned, still in disbelief. Katya laid frozen in Trixie's lap, still cradled in strong arms.  
"Go get a bag."

"A bag?"

"You're coming home with me." She shook her head, seemingly scared. "You can't keep doing this. Wh-Why do you do this? How do you do this?"

Katya is silent. "I just," she avoided eye contact, speaking barely above a whisper. "I don't know. I'm sorry."

Trixie let a tear roll down her soft cheek. "Don't apologize, just," She grabbed Katya's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Let me help you. Go get a bag." She forced a hopeful grin, her eyes are still glazed with worry. Katya dismounted and shuffled to her room. Trixie can do nothing but sit in silence on the futon as she waited for her best friend to return from her bedroom.

Katya reemerged from her room with a duffel bag thrown over her shoulder and a pair of Chuck Taylors.  
"This is all dirty." She said, referring to her bag.

"That's okay, I'll wash it." She took the duffel bag from her friend and led her out the door, leaving the wreckage of her apartment behind them. "The girls are gonna kill you."

"I know."

"Ginger is gonna kill you."

"I know."

"Jinkx and Ben are gonna kill you."

"I know."

"I'm gonna kill you." Trixie whipped around, stopping halfway down the stairs.

"Oh."

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna kill you." She smiled, watching the tension slowly drop from Katya's shoulders as she grinned. "Come on. You need a bath, you smelly cunt."


	2. Where the Grass is Much Greener

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is a little bit easier at Trixie's house - until it's not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, i'm just another hot, sexy bald guy, crest3dwhiteningstrips!  
> Jk I have a full jewfro
> 
> so I've always been really bad about spacing out updates, and at this point I really don't care. here's chapter 2. I hope you like it! and if you don't you can take it up with my lawyer, Rebecca!

"I want McDonald's." Katya is looking longingly out the window at the fast-food they're speeding by.

"When was the last time you ate?" 

"Uh," Katya fiddle her thumbs. "I had some crackers yesterday."

"Yeah, your first real meal isn't gonna be McDonald's. You'll throw it up in my car."

"No I won't."

"You will." Trixie doesn't take her eyes off the road. "You will, you have thrown up in here before, I'm not cleaning your vomit again."

"No I won't."

"You will."

"I won't."

Trixie suddenly whips the car into a McDonald's drive-through, jostling the both of them.

"Ha! I want some nuggets!"

Trixie pulled up to the speaker, Katya bouncing in her seat

"What can I get you today?" The cashier buzzed through the speaker.

"Nuggets!" Katya hissed excitedly.

"One black coffee."

"Will that be it?"

"Nuggets!" 

"That's it."

"NO!" Katya yelped as Trixie pulled the car around before her passenger can order anything.

"I hate you!" Katya smacked Trixie's arm lightly, absolutely shocked.

"I don't even like black coffee, I've just always wanted to do that!" Trixie is squealing.  
"You would have thrown up. You're not eating McDonald's for your first real meal." The larger blonde is straining not to burst into laughter again, a shit-eating grin creeping through. She paid for her coffee and left the drive-through, Katya still sulking in her seat.

Once they get to Trixie's apartment, she set Katya's bag in her room and instructed the smaller blonde to sit and wait in the living area.  
She took the obviously dirty clothes and sticks them into her washing machine, making a point to throw out all the cigarettes in the pockets, and dumping fabric softener in with it. She takes a pair of her own pajama pants and an oversized sweatshirt, placing it onto the bathroom countertop. She grabbed a few fluffy towels and plucks out a goatmilk soap and an oatmeal bath bomb from her pantry.

"Katya!" She calls, beginning to run the bath. "Come here!"

The water started running hot as Katya obediently padded into the bathroom. She seemed almost ashamed of herself - like she was scared of Trixie. Her head's hung low, her eyes darting away from the taller blonde. There's new fatigue hanging in her face, weighing on her bony shoulders. 

Trixie let the water run and got up, pulling Katya into a bear hug.

"Katya," She whispered just loud enough to be heard over the splash of the water running. "You didn't do anything wrong. You're just-" She stops a moment, rubbing Katya's back, feeling her ribs through her hoodie. "Off track. It's not a big deal. We're gonna fix it."  
Katya is quiet. She doesn't cry, because Katya doesn't cry. Trixie had never seen the other girl cry.

"Take your bath. Get clean. I'm gonna make dinner." 

Trixie left Katya to her bath. She whipped out her phone on the way to the kitchen.

Nov. 18, 9:38pm

Trixie:  
Jinkxy! Remember that favor you owe me ?

Jinkx:  
Oh dear god yes

Jinkx:  
Should I sit down for this

Trixie:  
Omg no I just need a recipe

Trixie:  
Lord knows I can't cook

Jinkx:  
Do not scare me like that Mattel

Jinkx:  
I'll send you my favorite soup recipe <33

Trixie:  
You're a lifesaver

Trixie got the recipe from Jinkx and started on the soup. She occasionally hears Katya splash a little bit around the tub, reassuring Trixie that she hasn't passed out in the bath. She found some vegetables and rice and broth in the fridge and cupboards, improvising the rest of the ingredients that she's missing. She throws it all in a pot, seasoning it and testing it as it boils down. She makes a grilled cheese to go with it for herself, feeling confident with her cooking skills as the aroma of the stew dances around the room. She's so invested in her creation that she doesn't notice Katya come up behind her, nearly jumping when the smaller blonde wraps her gangly arms around Trixie's soft midsection.

"Thank you." 

Trixie took Katya's hand off her stomach and kissed her palm, before tangling their fingers together and holding her hand softly.  
"Don't thank me, dummy. I'm just glad you got out of that damn house before you could get any worse. How was your bath? You smell nice."

"If I had gotten any worse, I'd be dead." She shrugged. "And the bath could have been better if you had been in there with me." The smaller girl wiggled her hips a little from behind Trixie.

"You whore!" Trixie jokingly swatted Katya's hand off her stomach, "Let's eat before I beat your bony ass into next week."

The two girls curled up on the couch and decided an X-Files binge was in order. Trixie popped in her pirated DVD of the episode banned in America, and the two settle down on the frumpy, off-pink couch. Trixie served Katya a modest bowl of stew, paired with a cup of milky chamomile tea. Trixie had a bowl of stew and a grilled cheese, replacing the tea for a glass of red wine. If she doesn't consume some kind of alcohol within the next hour, she might lose her mind. She watched Katya from the corner of her eye, silently relieved when the girl finishes half her bowl of stew, still invested in the incest murder spree going on the TV. Trixie polished off her own meal, eventually making a quick trip to the kitchen to pull out a bag of chocolate frosted mini donuts from the cupboard. 

Trixie was a foodie. She loved tastes and textures and the luxury of nice food, as well as the simplicity of junk food and homemade meals.  
She tried dieting when she was in college, but at 27 and tired of fighting with her body, she stopped trying to follow fad diets. She was curvy and healthy, and she stopped trying to fit into a mold. She was a successful adult woman with money to buy food, so she bought food. A luxury she didn't always have in college, so she embraced it. She loved her body.  
Plus, it has always served as a suitable foil to Katya's own physique. Katya was all sharp angles and harsh lines, Trixie was rounded corners and soft edges. The two just fit together.

That, and Trixie had always been Katya's favorite pillow in the house. Katya and her lack of personal space also meant she would occasionally latch onto Trixie like a koala.  
But now, the contrast between them was almost comical. 

Katya left her bowl half full before calling it quits, laying her head on Trixie. Trixie used one hand to sort through any tangles Katya may have missed brushing her hair. It's soft and clean from the bath, and it makes Trixie happy to watch Katya melt into the affection. 

"I want a cigarette," Katya mumbled, eyes still shut.

"I threw your cigarettes away."

"What!" Katya jerked up, eyes wide with disbelief. "Why would you do that?"

"If you smoke, you're not gonna eat. You can't afford to not eat right now." Trixie said through a bite of donut. She prodded Katya in the ribs.

"I just ate!"

"You didn't finish your soup." Trixie turned her attention back to the X-Files episode nonchalantly, watching the town sheriff being brutally murdered. Katya's left alone on the other side of the couch, obviously frustrated. 

"I didn't want the whole thing! Most people don't fucking finish food! It's fine, I'm not hungry anymore," She threw her arms up in the air for dramatic effect. It's very "Katya-like" of her. Trixie is still playing hard.

"I ate all of mine." She shrugged, popping another mini donut into her mouth. "And dessert."

"I don't care! You can't just fucking helicopter-mom me the whole time I'm here!" 

"Oh no, no no," Trixie pauses the TV and grabs at the hemline of the pants and snapping it on Katya's exposed hips to prove a point, making the other girl jump. "This is my house, and if you're gonna throw a fit and be a pissbaby, you can do it outside in the cold. So your bony ass can finish your dinner, or you can eat my ass and freeze"

Katya's brows are furrowed. She's pouting, but Trixie isn't about to cave. 

"It's not that bad," Katya begun, a little quieter this time.

She whipped around. "No, it is, Katya. It's that bad. You lost a lot of weight, a lot of weight you really didn't have in the first place. You look like you haven't slept in a year, and I don't think your hair had seen shampoo since Russia was still the Soviet Union until tonight. Eat your stupid fucking soup or you don't get to watch the Sheriff get torn to bits by the incest family." Trixie finished Katya's sentence, cutting her eyes at the other girl. 

It's silent for a solid five minutes. At the end of the five minutes, Katya's bowl is empty. She lays back out, but her head isn't on Trixie's stomach any more; in fact, she's avoiding touching her friend. She's curled into a little ball on the other side of the couch, barely peeping her eyes over her hoodie to watch the episode. 

"Katya, you understand why I'm being so hard on you, right?"

"Mmm," Katya huffed.

"Katya, I've never seen you look this bad. And I've known you for a long ass time, and I've seen all your ups and downs." She tried to maintain eye contact with Katya, but the other girl isn't having it.  
Trixie wanted to cry. This was going to be frustrating and stressful and Katya was already proving to be her usual stubborn self.  
She whimpers. She's trying really hard not to cry, but her emotions break the surface and her tears run over.

Katya dropped her stoic demeanor immediately and quickly scurried across the couch to her friend. Her arms wrap around Trixie as her tears stain the shoulder of the smaller girl.

"Okay, please don't cry. No crying." Katya pleaded. "Crying's not allowed. There's no crying in baseball," The breath is squeezed out of her when Trixie engulfs her in a hug, her strong arms nearly snapping her in half.

"I love you so much. I'm so scared I can't help you." Trixie sniffled. "I love you so, so much." She pressed a kiss into Katya's temple.  
Katya can't move much because she's still being crushed. But the feeling is mutual.

"It's not gonna happen again." Katya shook her head, still buried in Trixie's hair. "This isn't happening again."

Trixie sniffled. "You promise?" She loosened her grip on her friend, bringing her to an arm's length, giving a hopeful little grin to Katya through her tears.

"A thousand times promise." She nodded her head frantically. She gets the breath knocked out of her once more when Trixie squeezes the life out of her again.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, Trix."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> вымой руки грязная шлюха!!


	3. Go Back to Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly fluffy filler bullshit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm the ringworm you got from that pee-warm swimming pool in your cousin's neighborhood, crest3dwhiteningstrips!
> 
> I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again, because I haven't revised the next chapter. Hold your horses, stacy.  
> But this chapter really is just stupid fluff. Not teeth-rotting fluff, because dental hygiene is important.
> 
> This chapter was peer-reviewed by my cat, Freddie Purrcury.

"Katya? Hey, hon? Are you okay?" Trixie gently shook Katya awake, who had started shivering from up under the covers. The smaller girl grimaced and scooted closer to Trixie.  
The two of them had passed out after the second X-Files episode. Trixie had to carry Katya to bed, with concerning ease.   
"Your house is fucking cold you whore." She grumbled, burying her face into Trixie's side, her freezing hands crawling up the larger girl's sweatshirt, much to her chagrin.

"No! Icicles!" Trixie laughs-slash-screams. Katya just giggles menacingly.  
Suddenly, she pulled up her sweatshirt and blew a raspberry directly onto Trixie's stomach. 

"You! Absolute! Cunt!" She screamed, Katya still laughing and trying to blow a few more. Both girls laugh hysterically, tangled in Trixie's pink duvet and faux-fur blankets. It turned into a tickle fight, both girls helplessly out of breath, sparring on the bed. The war ends when Katya nearly falls off and Trixie has to catch her by the arm.

"I'm gonna kill you one of these days!" Trixie exclaimed, breathlessly. Katya grinned and laid back down next to her.

"Do it, coward!" She taunted. She's quiet for a moment, soaking up the moment.   
"I feel like I've been whisked away to some Barbie-dream heaven," Katya mumbled, as if she doesn't want Trixie to hear.  
She does of course, and in response, slips her hands under Katya's arms to pull her up and fixes the smaller girl directly on top of herself.

"You are entirely too easy to pick up." She says, dragging a nail across Katya's ribs like a xylophone.

"I'm portable. Kidnappable. Abductable."

"You need some food in you. Fatten you up."

Katya cocked an eyebrow, "That's some Hansel and Gretel shit right there, mama."

"I'll send you off to the fucking cannibal witch in her candy house to feed you and eat you," Trixie chuckled, shifting around to keep the smaller girl's hipbones from digging into her own flesh.

Katya wiggled, only further piercing Trixie with her sharp hipbones. "That's your job, apparently."

Trixie cackled. "Yeah, yeah that's my job. Speaking of, I need to make breakfast. What've you got a hankering for?"

"Seriously? 'Hankering'?"

"Shut up, slut!" Trixie laughed and picked Katya up off of her. "Try to get some more sleep. I'll bring breakfast to you."

Katya just smiled, watching her friend drowsily walk out of the room. God, she loved Trixie. She loved her voice and the way she practically screamed when she laughed. The way she smiled and her dimples shone through. All the little freckles and stretch marks and scars painted across her body. She loved every part of her.  
Katya knew she had feelings for Trixie early on in their friendship. She loved every damn part of her.   
There's a calmness about Trixie. Domesticity. The gentleness of her touch, the bold confidence of her voice, the welcoming rosiness of her freckled cheeks. Some sort of angel that got lost on the way to heaven.  
Katya was different. She's the cigarette smoke in the musty little bar that gets caught in your throat, the rush of alcohol and adrenaline when you muster up the courage to talk to the girl at the end of the bar. The sting of inadequacy when she slaps you. Different people.

"Katya! I made waffles!" Trixie bounded back in, pulling Katya back down to Earth. She held two plates of waffles, with two cups of orange juice carefully positioned under her arm. She distributed the food and drinks between both of them before plopping back down next to Katya.

"You have to finish at least half of that." She gestured at Katya's plate with her fork before tucking into her own breakfast.  
Katya's waffles, unlike Trixie's, which had been drowned in syrup and a pad of butter, had been smeared in crunchy peanut butter. To the side of the plate was a few slices of vegan bacon and some apple chunks. 

"I can do that." She mumbled. She sees Trixie smile out of the corner of her eye. With that, she started into her breakfast.

It took her 25 minutes to clean her plate entirely. She threw her empty dishes onto the bedside table with a dramatic huff and flopped back into the bed. Trixie laid down next her, curling up into her side.

"I'm not moving for the rest of the day," Katya grumbled. "This bed is mine." She wiggled around a bit into a more comfortable position before hanging off Trixie. "You're not moving for the rest of the day either. You are also mine." Trixie chuckled and shrugged.   
"That's fine. You can go back to sleep if you want. There's nothing planned for the day." Katya smiled and buried her head under the blankets, with the larger blonde playing with the little curls Katya would so often straighten out. They stay tangled in each other's embrace, the smaller girl cradled in Trixie's arms.  
Slowly, Katya falls back asleep.

Trixie noticed Katya starting to stir next to her, her soft grunting making Trixie smile.  
"Do I need to get up?" She mumbled, pawing at her groggy eyes.

"No, you're fine," Trixie laughed, gently moving the stray hairs from Katya's face. "You just need to rest. I'll wake you up for lunch." She trailed her thumb across Katya's hollow little cheek, earning a smile from the other girl.  
The physical contact is driving Katya crazy. She placed her own hand over Trixie's, in hopes her friend won't see the deep blush spreading across her face. The hand brushes, the squishy hugs, the hair playing, the cuddling - hell, the rib poking - it was all driving Katya mad. Sometimes, if she got lucky, Trixie would press a quick little kiss into her hand or her head.   
Katya spread her arms open, pitifully.

"I'm cold." She whined.

Trixie huffed sarcastically. "You're a brat." Regardless, she shimmied closer to Katya, pulling the smaller girl as close as she could. She snaked her arms up under Trixie's shirt, fingers and palms kneading into the other girl's soft flesh. She's warm and comfortable, her scrawny legs tangled in Trixie's thick thighs. She could stay here forever, melting into Trixie's softness, lulled by her friend's fingers tracing the outline of her own ribs.   
And, to the soft snoring of her best friend, Katya fell back asleep.


	4. Watch The Clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snapshots of coexistence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm the bangs you cut yourself during quarantine and your hair lady isn't open to fix it because a fashion crisis isn't an "essential business," crest3dwhiteningstrips!  
> (put the scissors down, margaret!)
> 
> This chapter is just two short, fluffy snapshots into one. Also, real talk ladies, I wanted to name each chapter a Trixie lyric, that shits hard mama! Who fuckin knew?
> 
> I hope you're 'enjoying' quarantine. Learn to sew, adopt a dog. Donate to Planned Parenthood. Eat the rich. I dunno. Do something productive.

"I want a cigarette."

"You're not getting a cigarette."  
Trixie doesn't even look up from her phone to respond.   
Katya seemed to think that the same question asked repeatedly would produce a new, more favorable answer eventually.  
She was very wrong.

"God," Katya threw her hands up into the air, "You don't fucking get it! I fucking need a smoke!"

Trixie flopped her phone down onto the couch and got up with a huff, stalking to the kitchen. "Okay, okay fine! There's gotta be something in here," She opened the cabinets, Katya followed close behind, obviously confused as to why she's looking for cigarettes in the cupboard.  
"Here," Trixie handed her a granola bar of some sorts and grabs one for herself, "Make this last as long as you can." 

The smaller girl pawed at it, flipping it over in her hands a few times.  
"Hey, what the fuck Trix?"

"If you still want to smoke after that, I have some pretzel sticks in there, too."   
Trixie landed back on the couch and opened her own granola bar. Katya didn't sit back down.

"Trixie, I need cigarettes! Nicotine, tobacco! Black tar! Let me destroy my body, you whore!"

"Oh my god! Sit your skinny ass down and eat the fucking granola bar!" 

Katya cut her eyes at her friend, but reluctantly sat back down next to her, saddled up close to Trixie. "Hmph."

Trixie turned the TV on and spread a blanket over the both of them.   
Katya still looked terrible, but she seemed to have gotten a little of usual her piss and fire back in her.   
The larger blonde ran her free hand down Katya's back, her fingers dancing across the divots between her ribs.   
Katya had never been fleshed out at all, there had never been anything superfluous about her in the first place. She had always been fairly petite, only about 5'2" or 5'3", which only made her look smaller.  
But Trixie so desperately wanted to see her friend's cheeks round out when she smiled with those big white teeth again. She wanted to see her icy blue eyes twinkle again when she said something absolutely inappropriate. She wanted to see her with the energy to run around wreaking complete havoc wherever the two of them went.   
She just wanted to see Katya get back to Katya.

The smaller blonde paid no attention to "make this last as long as you can." The granola disappeared before the commercial break on the TV can even end. Trixie got up and retrieved the aforementioned pretzel sticks, as well as some apple slices and peanut butter to dip it all in.   
Katya tucked in, not taking her eyes off the Dr. Phil episode she's become invested in. Trixie just absentmindedly massages at her back, occasionally taking a few pretzel sticks for herself. 

Katya doesn't ask for another cigarette.

\--

"Katya?"  
Trixie called, groggily. She had woken up in the night, stretching out her leg to find her friend, only to find her side cold.  
Katya didn't technically have to sleep in bed with Trixie, but after spending years of slumber parties and sharing the same bed, it felt natural.  
But now, the bed was empty.

"Katya?" She called again, pulling the duvet covers off and sliding out of bed. She padded into the living room, hitting the light switch on, only for a blonde, disheveled head to pop up from the couch. 

Katya chirped, "Yes?"

Trixie huffed a sigh of relief, letting the tension drop from her shoulders as she rolled her eyes.  
"What the fuck are you doing out here? It's 2am, asshole."

"I couldn't sleep," she said, hanging her arms over the backboard of the couch. "Didn't wanna wake you."

"Well that worked really well, didn't it." Trixie laughed. "Come back to bed, dummy. I'd rather you be awake in bed than awake on my shitty couch."

"How dare you call this a 'shitty couch!' She's pink!" Katya fake-gasped. She scuttled over the back of the couch, much to Trixie's chagrin.  
"Carry me."

"What?"

"Carry me!" Katya raised up her arms.   
Trixie flung her head back, "Bitch, I am half asleep right now. That's not happening."  
"Okay, I'll sleep on the floor then." Katya turned around without a second thought, fully ready to curl up on the hardwood.  
Trixie sighed and scooped her up, throwing her over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Katya goes limp, purring in satisfaction. 

Trixie tossed Katya onto the bed with a thud, thoroughly wrapping the thick comforter around her for good measure before snuggling up next to her.   
The smaller girl wiggled, effectively rooting herself nearly up under Trixie. It is, if anything, uncomfortable.

"What the hell are you doing?" Trixie groaned.

Katya wiggled a bit more, digging around into the mattress like a dog. "Gettin' comfy."

"Katyaaaa," Trixie moaned a little louder. 

"I gotta get comfy, mama!" 

In one swift movement, she wrapped her arms around Katya, flipping her on her side and curling her own body around the smaller girl.   
Katya grunted.

"Comfy?"

"Yeah."

"Go to sleep."


	5. Loving's In the Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katya comes to work with Trixie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm the unsuccessful dancer with two left feet and no fuckin' toes, crest3dwhiteningstrips!  
> Wow I haven't updated in a very long time. The world has changed a lot since the last update. Hope you're all staying healthy and wiggly!
> 
> I'm very sorry this took so damned long to update, I'm also very sorry I'm bad at chapter summaries, and I'd like to apologize for anything else I'm forgetting to apologize about. I honestly meant to update this like, a month ago, and then I had to move out of my dorm, and life bitch slapped me across the face and shoved a baseball bat up my ass, and then it beat me with a shit covered bat. 
> 
> But I'm good now. I think.
> 
> I'm gonna *try* to post a fluffy little filler chapter to go with this one in the next few days, unless I don't get around to it, but I'm gonna try really hard. Very hard.

"I can't fucking believe this!"

"Uh uh, nope! Go get a snack, you're getting grumpy again! I've got too much to do today!" Trixie called from her station, not looking up from her client's hair.

Trixie had taken off work for a week to take care of Katya- it wasn't a big deal anyway, the building had been closed for remodeling for a few days.  
But after a week off, Trixie had to go back into work at the hair salon.   
Leaving Katya alone in her house made Trixie's skin crawl. The damage she could do in one day was unpredictable. It was like leaving a small fire unattended in a wooden house.  
But Katya tagging along to work? Possibly worse.

"I'm not fucking grumpy! Whoever wrote this fucking article in this Cosmopolitan is on fucking crack!"   
Katya tossed the magazine back into the basket sitting next to her. She's sprawled out in the waiting room chairs, taking up as much space as her scrawny body could cover.

"Katya! Snack! Now!"   
This was the third time today Katya had tried to go on a tangent about something she'd found in one of the waiting room magazines.   
Thankfully for Trixie, she heard a muffled snicker from her client. This poor woman had some decent entertainment with her blowout today.

"Brooke, I am so sorry about my friend," Trixie shook her head. The young woman just laughed.

"Literally do not apologize, this is hilarious." The blonde woman gestured towards the both of them, "It's like watching a sitcom. I should probably just cut off my cable and come hang out in here."  
Trixie removed her cape and walked her over to the counter, relieved that she hadn't pissed off one of her regulars with her and Katya's spats.   
Katya, on the other hand, had opened up a new magazine, Little Debbie cake in tow. 

"She's a little fuckin' monster," Trixie grumbled as she opened up the register. Katya stuck her tongue out in response, just so Trixie knows she heard her.

Brooke raised an eyebrow, "Isn't she older than you?"

"Yes. Old enough to know better." When Brooke declined a copy of her receipt, Trixie crumpled it up and tossed it at the smaller girl. She missed pathetically.

Brooke left Trixie and Katya to their own devices, with forty-five minutes before the next client.   
The tall blonde took Katya by surprise, holding out her hand to the smaller girl.

"What? Do you want me to like, pull your finger or something?" Katya tugged on a finger or two to test.

Trixie giggled, "Do you trust me?"

Katya bit her lip for a moment, not having a clue as to what her best friend had up her sleeve.  
In a leap of faith, she placed her little hand in Trixie's.

"I shouldn't, but I do."

Trixie guided her up out of her chair, walking her over to one of the wash stations. Katya followed Trixie's lead as she motioned for her to rest her head down into the little sink. She's reclined in the black leather chair, Trixie behind her running the faucet, trying to get the temperature just right.  
It had been a week since Trixie had taken Katya in. She still looked pretty awful, but the twinkle in her eye had come back, as well as her godawful personality that Trixie was so smitten with.  
But there was a lovely new sheen in her hair starting to come through now, too. It had been dry and frizzy when Trixie found her, her dark roots coming through her bleach blonde hair. The roots were still a stark contrast, but Trixie's expertise told her that her hair probably couldn't handle the bleach right now.   
But it would probably benefit from an oil masque, and Trixie kept those on hand.

The water ran delightfully warm, and Trixie soaked Katya's short hair. She massaged the conditioner through, her fingers working methodically at her scalp. Katya purred in the seat below her, looking like she could fall asleep any minute.  
At that moment, there was a serene look about Katya. No wrinkles from weird facial expressions, no tension tied up in her shoulders. She might as well have been dead- Trixie had never seen her so still. She doesn't speak a word, just occasionally letting a squeak of surprise when Trixie's fingers find their way behind her ears.   
Trixie hummed a Dolly song, not really realizing it. The tune is slow and smooth, but it painted the inside of Katya's mind like a mural. Trixie had to be some sort of angel sent to give Katya a reason to believe in miracles or god or something.  
Trixie's hips swayed to the beat of the tune, as Katya dozed off as the warm water rinsed the conditioner out of her hair. Trixie worked her fingers through her knots, making sure the water ran clear as she finished up. She wrapped Katya's hair up in a warm towel before helping her up and leading her to a hairdryer. 

"Okay, sit tight, dry off, and don't pick any more fights with the Cosmo magazines." Trixie goes to walk away from Katya, only to find her hand still in the other girl's.

"'Mm cold." Katya mumbled drowsily.   
Trixie scoffed. "You're under a warm hairdryer, how are you cold?"  
Katya didn't respond, just squirmed dramatically under the dryer and whined. Trixie sighed and walked off, coming back with a pile of warm towels.  
"You're fucking spoiled," Trixie grumbled and began to wrap each towel around the smaller girl.  
Katya just giggled as Trixie tucked the towels around her like a shitty little mummy. She looked like a newborn swaddled in a sea of blankets.  
There had to be at least ten towels on her. Trixie put her hands on her hips, realizing how much laundry she was going to have to do after this.   
"Are you warm?"  
Katya grinned devilishly and nodded, completely unable to move anything but her head.   
"You wouldn't be so cold if you weren't so damn skinny," Trixie mocked, beginning to walk back towards the register, leaving Katya in her mound of towels.  
"I'm kidnappable!"  
"That's not a bragging right, whore!"

Katya smiled anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr. Except I'm not gonna give you my url.  
> Find it, bitch.

**Author's Note:**

> Can't stand it? I don't blame you.
> 
> (also I usually write scripts so I impulsively write in active voice, so uh, if the tense changes from passive to active just fuckin ignore it)


End file.
